It’s been many weeks since my Grand Mother died. However her memories
are still yet to fade into twisting nether of my thoughts. I have not ceased to
regret the fact that I could not be there near her during those last moments
and I am not sure if I ever will. These few words that I write about her is
just a small acknowledgment of the love I received from her. It is by no means an exhaustive nor authoritative eulogy but rather a reflection of the memories treasured by a boy about his grandmother.
My grandmother’s life was ordinary if you go
by the metrics of the world. She has neither held positions of power nor stood
up for women empowerment. But one thing she did do was perform the role she was
ordained to by God with her utmost ability. Her story is also the story of
thousand’s others like her who maintained the fabric of Kerala’s Syrian
Christian society through their sweat and tears. If we are prosperous, educated
and influential now it is in large part through these women and my Grand Mother
is one of them.
“An Unflinching yet intimately
caring woman” These would be the words I would use to describe her in a single
phrase. Through her long life she has been through much joy and sorrow, times
of plenty and times of want, loneliness and togetherness, illness and health.
But none of them were enough to change who she was. She suffered from diabetes
for longer than I can remember, was nearly electrocuted to death in an accident,
suffered from multiple bone breaking falls, underwent 3 operations to replace
both her knees and one thigh. These are just some of her sufferings in recent
years that I know about. My Grandmother
was like a rock that could not be weathered no matter how much the elements
tested it.
My Grand Mother was born in 1926 in
Koodallur, a place in Central Kerala which holds great historical significance for
Kerala’s Syrian Catholics even though it is a largely inconsequential town nowadays.
Unfortunately she was deprived of something most of us take for granted when
her mother died at an early age but was fortunate enough to have caring sisters
elder to her who played an important part in raising her. The flow of time did
not weather their love towards each other as I have witnessed on several occasions.
Her teenage years were in the time of great want caused by the World War 2 when
even rice was scarce. She was fortunate to be in prominent land owning family
but I believe this period definitely had an impact on her later life.
However the one thing that did
turn her life around was marriage into a family and location that was
considerably different from what she was used to. The hilly, rugged terrain and
agrarian aesthetics of Pathampuzha was in sharp contrast to her home town. I will not mince any words when I say that her
new family (which is also my family ) back then and to some extent even now were
extremely thrifty both with money and with love.
However despite all the
challenges she faced in her new home, she persevered and considered her new
family as her own. She not only managed the house but toiled on the family land
with the workers under her. There were times when she had to fight for her just
rights to her land in the court of law. She also had a penchant for keeping
farm animals and over the years reared cow’s, chickens, pigs, ducks, turkey’s
and finally a goat. My Grand Mother was also particularly meticulous when it
came to savings, and dutifully deposited the profit from all her farm endeavor’s
each month in the bank. She did all this to secure a brighter future of her
children and her grandchildren. I can only look back with heartfelt gratitude
towards what she has left for us fully knowing that I am probably not worthy of
it.
But what made my grandmother’s
life unique was probably not how well she fulfilled her roles in life, but what
she achieved despite the challenges she faced and her somewhat uncompromising personality.
The last 14 years when she was living with us gave me a farther glimpse into
her life. I would be lying if I say if we did not have our disagreements, and
tense moments. But now looking back I believe those years with her were some of
the most worthwhile days of my life. I was able to witness in her a simple
woman possessing intricately strong opinions, an old lady with a witty sense of
humor, a strict yet lovable mother, a soul brimming with faith and devotion towards
God despite its failings.
I would like to continue but mere
words from an amateur writer like me will not do justice to what my Grand
Mother and other like her achieved in their life. So I stop for now until I
find myself worthy enough to write the 2nd part.
No comments:
Post a Comment